Crazy-Pops

In honor of Elvis's Deathday anniversary yesterday....isn't that a strange thing to celebrate? Anyway, in honor of the 29th anniversary of Elvis Eating One Too Many Roofy-Twinkie-Peanut-Butter-Banana- Sandwiches and croaking on the potty, I'm going to buy one of these: The Elvis Camera. Since I never had the chance to get my picture taken with the King, I'll take pictures of my friends with the King. Then I'll put up a website and post all my pictures of all my friends with the King. Hey, wait, who the hell am I kidding? I have no friends! Just kidding. I have a friend. You know who you are. Did you get my letters? And the fruit basket? I'm sorry about your cat. No more restraining orders, please!

This reminds me a little of the time Mrs. C (my wife) and I went to Memphis on, yes, a job interview (that's a whole other cautionary tale that I'll write up some other time. If you're from Memphis, you should not read it because it will not be nice to your town), and we took an afternoon and went to Graceland and did the tour. Now this was close to this same time of year so there were lots of Deathday flower arrangements and things all over the place and it was CROWDED! But we made it to the end, where they have the eternal flame, and people were standing there staring at the flame crying and Mrs. C and I could barely contain our laughter. I mean, sure, I like the kitsch every now and then. And, hell, I've actually been paid to impersonate Elvis for a corporate picnic and I wrote a play about an Elvis impersonator that I actually starred in and I've been to Elvis-O-Rama in Vegas, so I too am obviously touched by the King. Not in a weird, "Get your hands off of my Heartbreak Hotel" sort of way, but in a cool, embrace the kitsch sort of way. So I get that. But he's dead, people! He's been dead for 29 years! And if you go the Graceland and you see the jungle room and you see the faux-glamour of the entire place and you don't laugh, you don't have a sense of humor. Which I bet The King probably did. "Hey, check this out - I'm gonna make a fried PBB sandwich for the hell of it and let everybody know that I like them and see how long it takes for it - and the Jungle Room, which is hilarious - to become part of my legacy." So I think he was pulling a fast one on everybody. And when we got to the eternal flame and to the grave of Elvis's twin (who died at birth, IIRC) and people were crying, we thought it was funny. Like a picture of you with Elvis. Friend.